long read….. worth it if you are interested in what is happening to our society….
I appreciate those that can create words to reflect life as it is ……………..
“I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.”His mind sees things differently than most of us do. Here are some of his gems……..1 - I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.2 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.3 – Half the people you know are below average.4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.5 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.6 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.7 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.8 – If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.9 – All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.10 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.11 – I almost had a psychic girlfriend… But she left me before we met.12 – OK, so what’s the speed of dark?13 – How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?14 – If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.16 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.18 – Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.19 – I intend to live forever… So far, so good.20 – If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?21 – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.22 – What happens if you get scared half to death twice?23 – My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”24 – Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?25 – If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.26 – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.27 - Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.28 – The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.29 – To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.30 – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.31 – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.32 – The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.33 – Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.34 – If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.And the all-time favorite:35 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
WWII Spitfire Pilot
This is probably one of the best emails I’ve had in a long time. Just watch the expression on his face as he watches himself. We owe a BIG thank you to men like him.
18 years old, all alone, behind enemy lines, no guns, no escort….and he gladly did it. They just don’t make them like that anymore… It was truly the greatest generation………..We owe them so much……….
Click the link below with your sound on:
American Spitfire Pilot in WWII
As a fighter pilot only two bad things can happen to you, and they are:
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight in a fighter.
b. One day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing that it is your last flight in a fighter.
The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
Morning sermon: Jesus Walks on the Water. Evening sermon: Searching for Jesus.
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
“Life is tough and it is tougher when you are stupid.” – John Wayne
“Emotions are easier to feel than thinking is easier to do!” – Rush Limbaugh
Don’t regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many!
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live itswhole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“We are being led down the rosy path of individual victim hood, put in a created new “victim” group and then characterized as being less-than; therefore, entitled to whatever is coveted.” – Larry Fookes